I recently had a conversation with a young athlete that reminded me just how much my words as a coach matter.

She is an eighth grader who plays at a high level and has started to express interest in playing college sports. We sat down with her mom to talk about recruiting and what preparation might be needed if she wants to pursue that goal.

It amazes me that in today’s youth sports landscape, recruiting conversations are happening this early—sometimes before an athlete even knows where she will attend high school. College is still five years away for this athlete, and so much can happen in that time. She may discover a new sport or interest. She may fall even more in love with her current sport and decide she wants to take it as far as she can. Her goals may change completely.

The truth is, we don’t know what the future will hold.

At one point in our conversation, I said, “No matter what path you choose in the future, I am proud of the person you are and of your journey.”

“Really?” she asked, somewhat skeptically.

I was surprised by her surprise, and even more grateful that I had taken the time to say it.

“Absolutely,” I told her. “Your journey is your own. Even if you decide to quit this sport and do something completely different, I will still support you. I never want you to feel like you are letting me down if you decide not to play in college. You get to choose.”

“Okay,” she said.

I could see that she was thinking about it.

Those were just a few moments at the end of our conversation that day, but I realized they may have been the most important words I gave her.

I never want an athlete to feel like she has to stay on a certain path because she is worried about disappointing me, her coach. I want her to have the freedom to make choices that are right for her, to explore, to change her mind, to try something new, and to ultimately decide what she wants her life to look like.

At the end of the journey, I want her to be proud of how she grew, who she became, and what she accomplished beyond the goals she achieved on the field.

So coaches, remember that mentoring athletes happens in big and small moments. Our words matter because athletes are learning from us. They are learning about their sport and how to navigate the world. They are learning that they are valued, learning about their self-worth, and learning how to allow others to treat them.

This is empowerment, and I am honored to be a small part of that.