Mistakes are a constant in sports. The mistake itself is never the real issue, it’s how we respond to it that matters.

Mentally tough athletes don’t fear mistakes; they expect them. They understand that being human means getting things wrong sometimes. What sets them apart is that they have a routine or a way to reset, so they can return to a neutral, focused mindset.

As coaches, our job isn’t to teach players to be perfect. It’s to give them tools to handle tough moments and take the next right step forward.

I recently came across a simple centering technique shared by Girls Leadership, an organization dedicated to building confidence and leadership skills in girls. The strategy combines physical touch with a short affirmation to help bring someone back to the present moment when they feel anxious or overwhelmed.

Using one hand, you tap your thumb to each finger, one at a time, while saying:
“I… am… here… now.”

One word per finger.

I introduced this technique to my team during a rainy practice, when mistakes were happening more than usual. The wet ball made everything harder, and frustration was starting to build.

“Everyone, hold up your hand,” I said as we gathered in a huddle.

They all raised a hand, unsure of what was coming next.

“Now tap your thumb to each finger, one at a time.”

We practiced the motion together a few times.

“Now add the words: ‘I… am… here… now.’”

We repeated it together, tapping and speaking in rhythm.

“After a mistake, after a strikeout, this is your reset. It brings you back to the present. Practice it today so you can use it in the game tomorrow.”

The team nodded, and we moved on.

As practice continued, I noticed a few players using it jokingly as we set up drills. I didn’t mind. It meant they were listening. They were processing. Maybe they wouldn’t use it seriously yet, but in a moment when they needed it, the tool would be there.

Later in practice, one of our veteran players got a hit after striking out in her previous at-bat.

“Coach,” she said, holding up her hand.

“Would ‘I-can-do-it’ work too?” she asked, tapping her fingers.

“Yes,” I said immediately. “That works too. The physical touch and positive words are what matter. That’s really cool, you made it your own.”

“Cool. I-can-do-it,” she said again, smiling.

In that moment, I realized something important.

I had hoped my players might remember this tool someday, maybe years down the road, in a big moment.

But here was a player already using it. Not just repeating it, but adapting it into something that truly resonated with her.

It was better than what I had taught.

That was a proud coaching moment and a powerful reminder of why coaching matters.

Players are always listening. And when we give them the right tools, they don’t just use them… they make them their own for a lifetime.