Last weekend, my team was playing in a tournament, and confidence was the theme of our morning team meeting. We talked about how confidence isn’t something we are born with, it’s a skill that is built over time.

Another theme our team had been exploring was connection. Connected teams are successful teams. I wanted to create an activity that combined both confidence-building and connection.

At the end of the meeting, I had every player draw the name of a teammate or coach from a hat and gave them instructions.

“Throughout the day today, I want you to notice when your person does something that helps the team,” I said. “It could be something physical, like making a good play. It could be effort-based, like hustling. Or it could be something outside the game, maybe you see them giving high fives or picking up gear.”

I paused to make sure everyone was listening.

“Notice when they do something small that makes a difference for the team. At the end of the day, we’re going to give shout-outs to our person for the things you noticed them doing.”

The team nodded.

“You don’t have to keep your person’s name a secret,” I added, smiling. “But it’s more fun if you do.”

Everyone looked down at the names they had drawn, and then we carried on with our day.

Our team won both of our games that day, and they were true team efforts. Even the players on the bench and our team manager made important contributions. I was curious to hear what the players would highlight when we gathered for our closing circle.

“Alright team,” I said as we sat together. “We’re going to go around the circle and give your person a shout-out, filling their confidence bucket.”

“Two logistical things,” I continued. “First, when someone gives you a shout-out, you’ll be the next person to go. Second, taking a compliment can be hard! So we’re going to practice.”

The girls laughed a little in agreement.

“I want you to really feel the positive words going into your body. All you have to do is smile and say, ‘Thank you.’”

I started the circle to model what thoughtful recognition sounded like. I had drawn the name of another coach on our staff.

“Coach Nat,” I said, “I really enjoyed eating breakfast with you this morning and getting to know you better. Thank you for caring so deeply about our players and for bringing great energy to the team. You make a difference for all of us, and I’m honored to coach with you.”

Coach Nat smiled and said, “Thank you.”

Then the circle continued.

One by one, players shared what they had noticed throughout the day. I was blown away by how thoughtful their observations were. They had truly paid attention, to the small details, the quiet efforts, the ways their teammates supported the team when no one else might have noticed.

Toward the end of the circle, a freshman spoke up and said she had drawn my name.

“Coach Claire, you are a really good leader,” she said. “Thank you for coaching us and for all your words of encouragement today. They meant a lot to me.”

I smiled from ear to ear, feeling a little choked up.

“Thank you,” I said softly. “I really appreciate that.”

As an adult, I felt the power of this activity in that moment. I felt seen. And judging by the looks on my players’ faces, I knew they felt it too.

In a world where it is often easier to tear people down than to build them up, my players did the opposite that day. They noticed each other. They celebrated each other. They spoke words that lifted one another higher.

It was a powerful lesson about the importance of paying attention to the good in others, and how cheering someone else on can build their confidence and your own at the same time.

That night, we all went to bed with full hearts and a little more confidence than we started the day with.

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Step-by-step instructions on how to lead this activity with your team here.